Let me first start by sharing that I have been married for 1 year and 2 months now and am absolutely loving my new season of married life.
Now that I shared that disclaimer, let me continue….I got married when I was 28 which was a little later than “normal,” and the awkward, cringing question “So, when are you getting married?” before I was even dating anyone is still all too familiar. Although I do know those questions did not have harsh intentions, it was difficult at times not to feel as though I should be ashamed or believe others thought something was wrong with me because I didn’t have a significant other.
I believe there are amazing qualities of life being single as well as being married. Both have their good times as well as their challenges.
I realized being single is ok and I’m really not going to grow up to be a cat lady! Ladies, it’s ok to be single, and there are lovely aspects to this lifestyle. Not everyone is called to be married at 21 with 3 kids. Life does not start with marriage. Life is about actually living it, appreciating it, and living it with purpose – irrespective of what season of life you may be in at a given tim. In my opinion, although my marriage is imperfectly perfect, I am grateful for my single years since I am a better version of me because of my singlehood.
So just to share a little perspective and encouragement to single ladies out there, I have compiled 6 Perks to Being Single.
1. The opportunity to invest in other relationships. Invest in those you love and value in your life. We never know where marriage will take you (across the US, in my case), and having those interpersonal relationships already established is important. I lived 7 hours away from home before I got married, and it was difficult to keep in touch with family and friends being a nanny and studying in grad school, but being that those relationships are important to me I made an effort to invest in them. Although I look back and wish I would have made more of an effort ( life is about learning, right?). Of course, marriage does not seclude us from our other relationships, but it does change dynamics a bit in terms of shifting priorities and lifestyle.
2. GROW. Being single, we have the opportunity to learn about ourselves while developing ourselves. During this time, it’s essential to devote to learning our hobbies, likes and dislikes, weaknesses and strengths, needs, etc. Why? For one, it helps married life in terms of communicating your needs and wants while you learn who your mister is. It’s hard to communicate yourself if you don’t know yourself. So why not invest in your future marriage by investing in yourself now. As ladies, we have so much more than we think to offer the world and our future husbands, and with a lack of confidence we minimize our potential. We don’t stop growing when we get married, of course, but it’s good to have a foundation prior to tying the knot. Growing in our identities develops self confidence. So, grow away…
3. Toilet Seat Down Happy Dance. It is a beautiful thing to walk in the bathroom with the toilet seat down, and should never be taken for granted. Seriously, something so minute will. drive. us. women. a. little. nuts! Thankfully it hasn’t been a point of contention with my mister and me as I’ve heard it has with others, but the point is to be grateful walking into the bathroom with the toilet seat down (do a little happy dance). It’s the little things, ladies.
4. The Grass is “Greener”
on the other side
5. EXTRA TIME. When you are married, there comes twice as much laundry, cleaning, meal prep, dishes, and the treacherous ironing . It’s true. No complaints here, but I wish I would have appreciated my extra time throughout my week as a single person. Think about it….your extra time as a single woman can be spent hiking, extra time singing in the hot shower, road trips with friends, or anything else your heart so desires at that moment. For me, it was soaking in the California beach with my iced coffee and magazine. So, take the time to enjoy your extra time…
6. GOD HAS A PLAN. Last, but not least, the best part about being single is you are where God has you. Don’t be discouraged about your friends getting married and living “happily ever after”, or wondering “what’s wrong with me?”, or “Is God mad at me?”. In answer to these questions, our friends are on a different journey than us, there is nothing wrong with us, and surely God is not mad at us. Allowing these negative questions to bring doubt in our minds can possibly lead us to settle for someone less than who God has for us. Rest assured, God is preparing someone impeccable for you while preparing you for them.
Of course, there are more than just 6 Perks to Being Single. I simply hit a few that were close to home for me. Feel free to comment below and share another perk.
As always, thanks for reading.