6 Perks To Being Single

 

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Let me first start by sharing that I have been married for 1 year and 2 months now and am absolutely loving my new season of married life.

Now that I shared that disclaimer, let me continue….I got married when I was 28 which was a little later than “normal,” and the awkward, cringing question “So, when are you getting married?” before I was even dating anyone is still all too familiar.  Although I do know those questions did not have harsh intentions, it was difficult at times not to feel as though I should be ashamed or believe others thought something was wrong with me because I didn’t have a significant other.

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 I believe there are amazing qualities of life being single as well as being married. Both have their good times as well as their challenges.

I realized being single is ok and I’m really not going to grow up to be a cat lady! Ladies, it’s ok to be single, and there are lovely aspects to this lifestyle. Not everyone is called to be married at 21 with 3 kids. Life does not start with marriage. Life is about actually living it, appreciating it, and living it with purpose – irrespective of what season of life you may be in at a given tim. In my opinion, although my marriage is imperfectly perfect, I am grateful for my single years since I am a better version of me because of my singlehood.

So just to share a little perspective and encouragement to single ladies out there, I have compiled 6 Perks to Being Single.

1. The opportunity to invest in other relationships. Invest in those you love and value in your life. We never know where marriage will take you (across the US, in my case), and having those interpersonal relationships already established is important. I lived 7 hours away from home before I got married, and it was difficult to keep in touch with family and friends being a nanny and studying in grad school, but being that those relationships are important to me I made an effort to invest in them. Although I look back and wish I would have made more of an effort ( life is about learning, right?). Of course, marriage does not seclude us from our other relationships, but it does change dynamics a bit in terms of shifting priorities and lifestyle.

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2. GROW. Being single, we have the opportunity to learn about ourselves while developing ourselves. During this time, it’s essential to devote to learning our hobbies, likes and dislikes, weaknesses and strengths, needs, etc. Why? For one, it helps married life in terms of communicating your needs and wants while you learn who your mister is. It’s hard to communicate yourself if you don’t know yourself. So why not invest in your future marriage by investing in yourself now. As ladies, we have so much more than we think to offer the world and our future husbands, and with a lack of confidence we minimize our potential. We don’t stop growing when we get married, of course, but it’s good to have a foundation prior to tying the knot. Growing in our identities develops self confidence. So, grow away…

3. Toilet Seat Down Happy Dance. It is a beautiful thing to walk in the bathroom with the toilet seat down, and should never be taken for granted. Seriously, something so minute will. drive. us. women. a. little. nuts! Thankfully it hasn’t been a point of contention with my mister and me as I’ve heard it has with others, but the point is to be grateful walking into the bathroom with the toilet seat down (do a little happy dance). It’s the little things, ladies.

4. The Grass is “Greener” on the other side Where You Water it. We all have heard the saying “the grass is greener on the other side”. I tend to disagree. It is greener wherever you water it. If all a single gal is thinking about is “When I get married everything will get better…” then marriage will be a complete disappointment. Really. Singlehood is not a lifestyle consisting of loneliness, distress, or deficiency. It is a time to explore yourself and the world. If you’re single, celebrate it and “water” it. In other words, seize the moments (large and small) of being single.

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5. EXTRA TIME. When you are married, there comes twice as much laundry, cleaning, meal prep, dishes, and the treacherous ironing . It’s true. No complaints here, but I wish I would have appreciated my extra time throughout my week as a single person. Think about it….your extra time as a single woman can be spent hiking, extra time singing in the hot shower, road trips with friends, or anything else your heart so desires at that moment. For me, it was soaking in the California beach with my iced coffee and magazine. So, take the time to enjoy your extra time…

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6. GOD HAS A PLAN. Last, but not least, the best part about being single is you are where God has you. Don’t be discouraged about your friends getting married and living “happily ever after”, or wondering “what’s wrong with me?”, or “Is God mad at me?”. In answer to these questions, our friends are on a different journey than us, there is nothing wrong with us, and surely God is not mad at us. Allowing these negative questions to bring doubt in our minds can possibly lead us to settle for someone less than who God has for us. Rest assured, God is preparing someone impeccable for you while preparing you for them.

Of course, there are more than just 6 Perks to Being Single. I simply hit a few that were close to home for me. Feel free to comment below and share another perk.

As always, thanks for reading.

Caffeinated Love,

Ceci

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8 thoughts on “6 Perks To Being Single

  1. Oh Ceci. You have no idea how your article has warmed my soul! This article hit close to home and was a must read during my lunch break the second my Instagram scrolling landed on you. I spent first half of my twenties in a bit of unhealthy relationship it by all means was not a terrible relationship it just wasn’t the relationship that was meant to stick forever. I learned to move on and be ok with that. Fast forward a few years later and here I am 28 years old and realizing I have been single for the second half of my twenties. Yikes! I know too well the common questions being asked of marriage and kids. Oftem I would find myself scrolling through Facebool and Instagram wondering why it seemed I was the only single graduate my high school class of 2003. Although everyone tells you “Your time will come” one cant help wonder when that time will come. It takes a whole lot of faith to know that God will lead the way. Your words have put a new light on my thoughts and I thank you for that. I was wondering what to do with my day off tomorrow and it shall be spent on the beach and I will seize the day on my own and enjoy every second of it. Thanl you again.

    • Jessica, thank you so much for reading and commenting. Your comment meant so much to me. I can relate to you being in that moment when you find yourself in your late 20s/single, and feeling like ummmm when is he coming?! Really though, it’s like you said it takes faith while seizing the single life…. I’m so jealous of your day off at the beach tomorrow. That’s one thing I miss about Cali is the beach. Enjoy!

  2. Love!!! Especially the section about growth. I really feel like between the ages of 25-29 I grew so much…and its such a great opportunity to sort some things out before you join someone else to your life. Enjoy reading your blog so much!

  3. This is perfect. I actually wrote something along the lines of this and will post soon! 🙂
    i love your outlook and i love your blog! Caffeinated buddies unite 🙂 looking forward to reading!!

  4. So thankful to have found your blog! Thank you for sharing your faith and a Godly perspective on the season of singleness. It definitely spoke to me about where I’m at right now. Just a reassurance that I’m right where I need to be, and God is in control. Blessings!

    • Kelley! I’m so encouraged to hear how this post has spoke to you on a personal level. It’s a little nerve-wrecking to share something so intimate over the internet, but it’s worth it when hearing how it has benefited other women.

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