A Season of Brokenness

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It’s the Christmas season. Retail stores are busy, favorite christmas ornaments are beautifully placed on our trees, Christmas carols are being sung, favorite seasonal recipes are being made, Christmas lights are flooding our streets, white elephant games are being played…and I’ve had my share of caramel brulee lattes.

Tis the season.

As we enter this new season of Christmas, I can’t help but ponder my own season in life.

These past months have been a whirlwind, to be honest. I believe wholeheartedly that life comes in increments of seasons: seasons of growth, healing, rest, learning patience, grieving,  laughter, etc (Ecc. 3:1-8)

In this season I am learning more about myself… who I am… who I am as a wife and how I can be a better wife… who I am as a Christian and a friend and what I can do differently… my future… reevaluating my heart…my role as a therapist… my faith and how I want more of it… how I can change my perspective in the midst of external situations out of my control… This season has definitely been a time of looking at myself through an invisible “microscope.”

Through this “microscope” I have seen my many wonderful qualities such as being nurturing, passionate about striving to be a godly wife, and the love I have to serve others and God. On the contrary, I see my weaknesses of wanting to be accepted by everyone and taking it personal if I’m not, along with my need to have structure (sometimes to a detriment). In addition, I have an internal struggle of wanting to fix circumstances or defend myself while God wants me simply to trust in Him indefinitely. I’d like to think of myself as a forgiving and graceful woman since I am a Christian and have seen God overflowing with these attributes on a personal level and in the life of others; however, often times I fall short. My mister and I have a bright future ahead and are ecstatic about those years, but it takes these seasons of God searching me, breaking me, and putting me back together again that bring us to a healthier place than what would have been possible had we not gone through this season of being under the “microscope.”

At the very least, it is not a comfortable season by any means. Although I lived and learned long enough to understand that these seasons tend to repeat if I don’t embrace them (by “embrace” I mean, living through it while learning and developing as much as possible rather than being in denial and running from the season.)

I’m inspired by Joseph’s life in the Book of Genesis. In brief, God gave him dreams and visions of him being a leader over many, but he went through a very long season of scrutiny, betrayal, suffering, false accusations, etc. This continued for years. As his life story plays out, his characteristics of honesty, integrity, faithfulness, and forgiving are evident, and he was set in a position of authority with the ability to provide for his family. His season of brokenness was purposeful. Had he not gone through his painful season prior to being placed in his position of authority, he would not have grown, developed,and matured into the role God ultimately intended for him. Had he fought against the difficult season in His life, he may have lost out on the greatness God was preparing for him, or perhaps he would have prematurely stepped into the role God had for him without valuing the process. I find it sobering how through Joseph’s darkest hour he never lost sight of God’s vision for his life, and how God was enough for him.

In the midst of this season of being “broken” I know two things are certain. First off, I am fearfully and wonderfully made by the Creator Himself. The Creator who forethought the depths of the seas and the color of the skies and positioned the sun and the moon has predestined my life for greatness. I am His masterpiece. You are God’s masterpiece. He has my absolute best interest in mind and understands what seasons my character needs to endure to prepare me for my future. Secondly, God is enough for me. Paul says it quite best in Philippians 4:12 that whether you have it all in life or not, contentment is key. Whatever season I am in life, God is enough. His grace, peace, hope, and security is enough. Our society often tells us that “enough” does not exist. We always just want a little bit more…. more money, nicer furniture, upgraded vehicle, etc. On the contrary, we weren’t created for “things” to fill us up with contentment. We were created for God to be enough in us. I’ve known this to be true, but it is in this season that this knowledge is translating into a personal testament.

Through this season of life, I’m learning to hand God my whole heart – insecurities, fears, failures and even my lovely characteristics. His plans are always better than our own.

I’m interested in hearing from my readers. Have you experienced this season in your own life? If not, what season are you experiencing now?

I’d love to hear from you.

Caffeinated Love,

Ceci

 

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4 thoughts on “A Season of Brokenness

  1. I needed this post. I have a draft saved almost exactly what youre talking about! I am broken. And i am in a season of brokeness and God is re-molding me over and over and it really hurts. But thank you, sweet girl, for the words of Truth.

    • Thanks for sharing, Emily. The beautiful aspect of being broken is how God is developing us. The process hurts though. On the flip side, it’s only for a season.. and seasons pass. I’ll be praying with you. I look forward to reading your post.

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